Deep Bench Chronicles

A cult figure, a chaotic career, and a life far bigger than basketball

It’s time to get back to the real subjects.

Too many pieces here have taken hours. What am I saying, days, even weeks of research, cross-checking, and endless verification.

This one did not. It was written for pleasure, on the corner of a table, between two coffees.

And yet I’d bet it feels far more alive than the soulless NBA content churned out by ChatGPT, which now makes up a good 80% of what’s published online.

Writing about artists and poets of the game, Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan, Grant Hill, Larry Bird, or Hakeem Olajuwon, is easy.

When it comes to selling jerseys and keeping people glued to their TVs, the appeal is obvious. But to fill a cabinet of curiosities, a rare bird like Dwayne Schintzius (pronounced SHINE-zuss) is far more appropriate.

My interest in him has little to do with basketball, strictly speaking.
This is unapologetic positive discrimination, based on a glorious combination: an improbable haircut and a last name that would score big in Scrabble.

It’s also a chance to pay tribute to a center who played more than 200 NBA games and passed away far too young, in 2012, at just 43, after a relapse of leukemia diagnosed two years earlier.

Basketball Was Never the Most Important Thing

Dwayne wore the mullet the way Anthony Davis wears the unibrow: poorly, but unapologetically.

These are the brave men, the true aesthetes of this sport.

A Schintzius on today’s Thunder roster would be a Trojan horse. No more GQ articles. No more Fashion Week. Time for genuine risk-taking.

Let’s get the basketball part out of the way. Centers like Schintzius were easy to find in the NBA of the 1990s, provided you looked in the right pile of rocks.

A 7-foot-1 giant, a true blue-collar big man, constantly hampered by back pain. At best, a first big off the bench behind the starting center, as he was at times behind David Robinson in San Antonio. More often, a third-string center, playing every other game, or every third, depending on how the equipment was holding up.

A chaotic career timeline.

College years at Florida: a Gators powerhouse

Before clowning around in the NBA, Dwayne Schintzius was already doing it in high school, and especially at the University of Florida. On the court, he was a phenomenon.

He became the first player in Gators history to surpass 1,500 points, 800 rebounds, 250 assists, and 250 blocks. Alongside Vernon Maxwell, he led Florida to its first SEC title in 1987 and to two consecutive NCAA tournament appearances, a first for the program.

An impressive résumé that earned him a look with the U.S. national team ahead of the 1988 Olympics. He did not make the final roster sent to Seoul, but he was part of the extended list of 21 players and took part in the exhibition games. He even shared a room with two future NBA peers: David Robinson and Danny Manning.

During his fourth and final season at Florida (1989–90), he averaged 19 points and nearly 10 rebounds before walking away after just a few games. New head coach Don DeVoe wanted him to cut his “lobster” hair and lose weight. Schintzius chose flight over contrition. His departure letter set the tone: “I’m not happy.” He later accused DeVoe of tyranny, comparing him to Captain Ahab from Moby Dick.

Out of shape but still talented, he remained intriguing enough to be drafted 24th overall by the Spurs in 1990, far lower than expected. That summer, he showed up to training camp weighing nearly 300 pounds. With Larry Brown as head coach, a man who already disliked rookies on principle, things were off to a bad start.

“The most perplexing case of the 1990 draft”

Dwayne Schintzius entered the NBA with a reputation as a gifted but unmanageable center. An oddball with offbeat humor and plenty of self-deprecation, in an NBA environment that does not always reward such traits.

Big talk, limited production. “Great quote, bad game,” summed up one Texas journalist. Despite good touch and genuine passing instincts, his lack of defensive mobility and fragile health undermined his career. His rookie season in San Antonio tells the story: 42 games, occasionally starting, but a wrecked back that led to his first surgery.

Journeyman Years and the Shaq Moment

Traded to the Kings in 1991 for Antoine Carr, he played briefly again (33 games) before undergoing another operation. A forgettable stint with a dysfunctional franchise that waived him the following summer.

Frank Vining, his high school coach at Brandon High School in Tampa, was not surprised to see his former player repeatedly at odds with management:

“I’m not surprised at all. I expected it. Check the kid’s track record from high school to college and now to the pros. It’s always been the same story. Dwayne just never had the work ethic for real success.”

The Nets picked him up in 1992 as a free agent, more by default than conviction. He played only five games that season, but was healthy for the playoffs and appeared in the entire first-round series loss to Cleveland, averaging over 21 minutes per game. He would ultimately spend three seasons in New Jersey, appearing in 78 games. One out of every three.

Long enough to have a basket explode above him at the hands of Shaq. Schintzius later made a comment I find genuinely funny:

“Lucky for him he did it to me, because I was going to do it to him.”

Surprisingly, despite his limited playing time, scouting reports of the era never labeled him washed up or useless. As noted earlier, he was credited with good hands, a respectable shot, and real basketball IQ, even after his brief stints across his first five seasons. A gentle giant with plenty of humor, but too soft for the position. Remember, his opponents were Ewing, Shaq, Olajuwon, and company. He moved like a box truck on an icy back road and had glass bones.

His contracts followed one another mechanically: Spurs, Kings, Nets, then Pacers (33 games), Clippers (15 games), followed by a lost season due to injury, then a comeback with Boston during the lockout-shortened 1999 season (16 games). Salaries were often at the league minimum, though one nice heist stands out in New Jersey, where he earned $1.2 million during the 1994–95 season.

He was traded by Boston to Denver in the summer of 1999, but Schintzius, nearly 31, decided to call it quits. His body could no longer keep up. In eight NBA seasons, he spent more time injured than on the court.

Retirement and the Real Fight

Once his NBA retirement was official, he extended the joke a bit in the minor leagues until 2003 before finally turning the page. Schintzius explored several paths: a few commercials, something he had already tasted with a cameo role in Eddie (1996) alongside Whoopi Goldberg, where he played Ivan Radovadovitch, a fictional Knicks center. He also retrained as a fitness coach and published a book in 2011: Exercise Anywhere: Dwayne Schintzius’ Guide to Free and Easy Exercises.

But for Schintzius, the real fight was elsewhere. He began a long battle with a rare form of leukemia, chronic myelomonocytic leukemia.

In 2009, Dwayne underwent a first bone marrow transplant in Florida, with the donor being his brother Travis.

Declared cancer-free in 2010, he could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. But the disease returned in early 2012. A second transplant and subsequent complications led to respiratory failure.

On April 15, 2012, at 43 years old, Schintzius passed away surrounded by his family. Rest in peace, big Dwayne. The final words go to his brother Travis:

“He’s at peace now. He’s not suffering anymore. Now he’s probably cracking jokes and making people laugh in heaven.”